It’s okay to not be okay

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Every single person that has lost a loved one will know all too well the feeling of pain it can cause. I cannot help but feel though that there has been some sort of precedence set when it comes to dealing with that pain. Everyone will have their own way of dealing with such trauma, and that is perfectly ok, so long as that it is natural to them.

Who decided that you shouldn’t sit in your pyjamas all day crying and eating chocolate? Who decided that when someone asks how you are, that you should just reply ‘I am okay’ when you do not feel okay at all? Who decided that you should go straight back to work to help take your mind off things whilst putting on a brave face? I am not saying you shouldn’t, but you also shouldn’t feel obligated to.

I do not understand where this stigma of acting okay has come from. It does not make you inferior to anyone else because you simply expressed how you truly felt. Nobody should judge you for admitting that you just want to cry all the time, or that you struggled to get out of bed this morning. Nobody should judge you for explaining how you REALLY feel. Speak up to friends, family, colleagues if you need a bit of extra help or support, they will care, and you are not admitting failure in any way shape or form.

Of course, life goes on, but having time to deal with that pain in your own way is key to the grieving process. The emotions that overcome you can make you feel exhausted, angry, sad among many others. It is important that you go through the process in a way that you truly feel you need to, not just in a way that you believe is expected of you. It’s okay to not be okay.

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